September 2014

If you’ve seen the Ray Rice and Janay Palmer elevator video you know it’s sickening example of domestic violence.  After reading several articles on the subject I was shocked to learn that domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44.  The statistics regarding domestic violence are staggering: 

• One in four woman will be the victim of domestic violence during their lifetime. *
• Each year more women are abused by an intimate partner than injured in car accidents, muggings and rapes combined.
• In November of 2012 the Huff Post reported that the number of troops that had died in Afghanistan and Iraq was 6,614 and the number of women killed, in that same time period, as a result of domestic violence was 11,766.
• It’s 270% more likely that a woman will die a violent death when there is a gun in the home.
• The cost of domestic violence exceeds $5.8 billion each year, $4.1 billion of which is for direct medical and mental health services.
• 25% to 45% of abused woman are abused while pregnant resulting in preterm birth and low-birth-weight babies.
• 50% of U. S. Cities report that domestic violence is the primary cause of homelessness.
• Each year more than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their home.
• Worldwide, it is 3 to 4 times more likely that a man who grew up in a household with domestic violence will grow up to be an abuser than if he hadn't.  And girls who witness maternal abuse may tolerate abuse as adults more than girls who do not.
• Survivors of domestic violence face high rates of depression, sleep disturbances, anxiety, flashbacks, and other emotional distress.
• The average prison sentence of men who kills a female partner is 2 to 6 years. Women who kill their male partners are, on average, sentenced to 15 years.

We absolutely cannot judge or blame the victims of domestic violence and expect the violence to end.   We need to teach our girls to be strong, to value themselves and to resist domination.  We need to stress the importance of respectful relationships and that love doesn’t involve a fist, shove, pinch or demeaning language.  And we need to teach young boys and girls non-violent conflict resolution skills where everyone gets the message that they are 100% responsibility for their actions.

An indefinite suspension from professional football seems like a fitting punishment for Ray Rice’s actions. But his suspension and the cancellation of lucrative endorsement contracts will undoubtedly have a significant affect on his ability to provide for his family and unfortunately that increases the likelihood that he will abuse again.  I truly hope the Rice family receives the professional help they clearly need.  And I hope we all get the message that domestic violence is not a private problem -- it’s a public health problem.

Make the time to be good to you and repeat after me –“ I will give no one the power to make me feel inferior.”

Good Health!

Terry

"I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking."

~Joan Rivers

* One out of fourteen men has been physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabitating partner, boyfriend/girlfriend or date at some point in their lives.